Krautrock Doosh

I was out of town on business before the holidays and as so many times before I stayed at a W Hotel. From the first time I ever stepped foot in one of those places I said, “the lobby is like you're the last one at the club when the music's still on, and they're just cleaning up the mess.” The one in San Francisco delivered just as they all do, but I had a noteworthy doosh encounter.

After a long day at the office, I decided to have a couple of drinks and retire for the night. In my attempt to get back up to my "Wonderful" room I met "Mean German Doosh" and his glittery shirt wearing friend. [His friend might have been a doosh too, but I have decided to be a bigger person and give him the benefit of the doubt. For those of you who'd vote doosh just from the fashion alone - you have to remember he was European, and they, by nature, dress a little fruity.]

So, Doosh and friend were in an open elevator, while my boss and I were trying to get upstairs. We pushed the up button as usual and after a couple of dings we headed in the elevator with the ambiguously gay duo. They apparently were perturbed by the fact that we jumped in their little scene. [We didn't realize we were disturbing anything.] Everybody was just trying to get upstairs.

There was another "DING" and some other peeps joined us in the elevator - making the occupancy total, 6 [under the maximum weight limit]. This is when the German doosh started mouthing off that he was German and German’s don’t tolerate others getting in the same elevator, while his black light responsive friend cackled at our expense.

My boss and I refused to be in such close proximity to Euro-trash doosh, so we pried open the door and dashed out of there while we still had the chance. I think some doosh-esque expletives were exchanged, but we came out alive, modestly irritated and largely entertained.

Much like the W Hotel chain itself, Doosh and ½ doosh were just trying a little too hard to be cool. Cue the Krautrock.

The Living Belushi is a Dooshi

Cool product. Big Doosh.

This is bit removed from the general dooshquest post, but I had to share some love for a new found product. I think it is awesome when you have stuff as a kid and are given the opportunity to enjoy it as an adult. I came upon this dooshtastic Web site nursing a hangover and checking up on icanhascheezburger.com. This is probably one of the first times I have ever clicked on a banner ad. I know how this stuff works. Not even a Google Gadget is going influence my next click! Well, until I saw this: ADULT FOOTED PJS: Are you ready to snuggle?

I am sorry. I couldn’t resist. It was something that I had to investigate further. Pajama City has a plethora of footed pajamas for the whole family – not to mention a selection of fabrics from flannel to velvet. The picture above is of the drop seat waffle knit, and according to the site, “Our Drop Seat Back Footy Pajamas (or ‘Trap Door’) allow you to practically live in these things!” Wow this guy’s such a doosh, but I kind of want to get some – just look at that smile.

More Naked Dooshes

I am sorry people, but do guys not feel the need to wear clothing anymore? I think my favorite part of this report is that the female clerk said that she didn't call the police because these two naked dooshes were not hurting anyone or acting drunk..blah, blah, blah. This pair was on the look out for Skittles, soda, and donuts. Hello? Do you not know a stoner when you see one (or two in this case)? [Dude, man, love the hemp necklace.] Kidding aside, a little stoner never hurt anybody, so she probably made these gentlemen's night, or maybe they made hers. Take a look.

Ebenezer Doosh

In the spirit of the holiday season, I thought I would share a friendly link of my fellow DooshQuest blogger. [I didn't realize he has such smooth moves] He probably regrets asking me to be a contributor and f*cking up his cleverly written blog. So this is my thanks. Take a look.

Ugly Naked Doosh

There's nothing like hanging out with a doosh who's hanging out...take a look.

Scab Doosh

Carson Daly, picket line crossing DOOOSH

Funny Because It's True

Dooshiest Restaurant Cover-up

I have lived by this for a long time, but this is just a prime example of some DOOSHY restaurant owner trying to save face. NEVER trust a sign that says "Closed for Renovations." See below, as reported by amNew York and the AP.

..."Certain conditions have been pointed out which require correcting and we are working quickly to be in 100 percent compliance with the Health Department's suggestions," said spokesman Joe Calderone.

"We will reopen as soon as possible."

The Health Department said an inspector had spotted a live mouse in the building, as well as mouse droppings, fruit flies, house flies and more than 100 live cockroaches...Officials shuttered the restaurant Wednesday night after it failed its second inspection in a month for the stunning presence of creepy critters.

"Both inspections revealed rodent and fly infestation and conditions conducive to pest infestation, including stagnant water in the basement," the department said..."Roaches mean having a problem for a long time that means that they knew they had a problem and they didn't take care of it right away," said Pallavi Sancy, 38, who was visiting from California. "I'm really glad I didn't eat here."

The Associated Press contributed to this story.

Beware of the Dooshini.

This weekend I was guilty of what I call the “Houdini,” which today I learned was a nickname for something pertaining to human waste. [I guess that is a topic for another day and, in my opinion, another blog.] Even so, I’m going to stick with my name - “Houdini” a.k.a “an Irish goodbye.” Basically, it’s when a fellow party attendee vanishes with no “I’m out” no “see ‘ya later.” They leave you with a bunch of nothing and are on to the next thing whether it be a new bar/party or the toilet. [Few Houdinis are actually sober enough to remember.]

Everyone has a story related to the Houdini, but this type of behavior is innocent, really, and not to be taken personally. But what is it called with someone you’re dating pulls the same thing? I’ve got it – DOOSHINI. I don’t think this term is good enough to make it to Webster or even Wikipedia, but I do think I am on to something here. Any dude that is guilty of this disappearing act is definitely a DOOSH and probably has many more doosh qualities under his hat. Spread the word of the Dooshini and beware of his cunning nature - try not to be fooled by his bag o’tricks or that cute little bunny in his pants.

If you hear any of the following from your significant other – the Dooshini is near!

• I’ve been on a bit of bender from rehab, and I’m trying to work things out.
• I need some time to evaluate my life. It’s not you, it’s me.
• You know my ex-girlfriend? We are just on a break.
• Can I get that t-shirt back?
• I have a wife.

For regular readers of this blog, this post is not to be viewed as “male bashing,” [that’s not what I’m about] but as an exemplification, hell, an education in dooshiness.

Ebony and Ivory

The King of "Doosh"

Celebrity DUI-sh

"I'm not drunk," Mickey Rourke reportedly told officers at the scene. “I didn't even drink that much."

How many times have I said that one? Give me a break, Mickey! The Hollywood star was pulled over on a SCOOTER - for God sakes. I mean, how dooshy do you have to be to accomplish something that lame? What was it, canary yellow? It would be one thing if he was caught speeding in a jacked-up Lincoln Navigator with some hoes in the back and “a white powdery substance” in his pocket that wasn’t his. But no, he was caught “swerving” down the street. DUI aside, his mug shot [a true declaration of dooshiness - the leathery skin, greasy hair, and reverse-Hitler with chinstrap facial monstrosity] made me really think, is this a requirement for a celebrity has been? My sources say yes, and the eight ball [no pun intended] reveals “It is decidedly so.” Well, there you have it folks. I say, "Take that smirk off yo' face DOOSH!"

Guinness Book of Dooshes

This “Long Leg Hair” doosh is saving his 15 minutes of fame for the Guinness Book of World Records. He is conditioning, combing and protecting his mutant leg hair – which is now almost 5 inches long. I certainly hope he’s not trying to compensate for his length in other areas with this one. I’m not really impressed. Most people who find freakishly long items on their bodies that aren’t supposed to be there would take care of them – immediately. But no, this guy’s shooting for the record books. It was reported that if/when he wins the world record he will then remove the hair and hang next to his plastic god or whatever.

“…I’m not this monkey man with long hairs all over my body…it was just one strand,” said “Long Leg Hair” doosh a.k.a. Wes Pemberton in a recent CNN interview. Oh, okay Wes, since it’s just the one...I mean, come on!

Drug In-dooshed

After a good ten minutes of staring into his beer, this "Paranoid Tweaking doosh" decided to leave the bar and his beer behind.

Lesson here is:

If you're too drugged-up to finish your beer and the only word you can utter is a bug-eyed "WHAT?" while feverishly snapping your head from side-to-side, please, STAY AT HOME or go play with the other druggies.



This is a real thumbs down in my book. After all, there are sober kids in China.

Dooshiest Celebrity Pimp Story

James Lipton, host of "Inside the Actor's Studio" as a young man worked in Paris as a pimp >>

"This was when I was very very young, living in Paris, penniless, unable to get any kind of working permit... I had a friend who worked in what is called the Milieu, which is that world and she suggested to me one night, `Look, you'll be my mec... We would translate it perhaps... as pimp. We were earning our living together, this young woman and I, we made a rather good living, I must say."

And set up live sex shows for American Tourists >>

"I had to accompany my clientelle to the Rue Pigalle, which is where these things occurred. And then I'd take them up to the room and I had to remain there because they were very nervous, they were young Americans for the most part... and they didn't speak French."

DooshQuest gold

Like Columbus landing at Plymouth Rock or Fleming discovering penicillin – fate was at hand last night as I happened upon DooshQuest gold at The Watering Hole’s Karaoke Night.

Dooshes convene on Thursday nights from across the globe to sing, crotch grab, dance and spit. I discovered a few rare and exotic breeds including, “Chicken-wing Eating Bearded doosh,” “Karaoke Def Leopard doosh,” “Shem doosh” and “Stuffed Parrot Wearing doosh.”

After last night’s observations, I will no longer use “doosh” so haphazardly. I found myself at the depth of sophistication but at the height of my quest. My previous definition of doosh, is laughable, at best. I realize there is certain level of dooshiness for which I must be eternally vigilant and from this day forth, my DooshQuest is going to be all the more - dooshy.

The Social Skin Graft

Dada acosts Mark Zuckerberg at US Open

Client/Doosh

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Steve - I know that you think this is my problem. I don't. I believe it's your problem. Not personally - your company's. I go to hundreds of websites in any given week, and this is the ONLY one which does this. That makes someone who is as analytical as I am believe that you need to be looking for a solution.
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Then I guess you have proven my point. You are not looking hard enough or taking me seriously!
I need to know who I should talk with who will.
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If you were taking me seriously, this would be fixed! This would not be happening on other computers here in the building or computers in my home, and the offices of our agents, etc. I cannot and will not believe that a "thorough

Too Obvious?

John Mayer

Writers at Vanity Fair

I guess I need to reduce my asshole footprint!
Or not - people who write for Vanity Fair are dooshbags!
- KW

Doggy-Doosh Love

Le Doosh

Chicago Doosh Example #3

Billy Corgan. What a big, whiney, phoney doosh. I'm still baffled why anyone gave a shit about Smashing Bubkis. What a yucky man.

Chicago Doosh Example #2

Peter Cetera (or was that Et Cetera?)

Chicago Doosh Example #1

Steve Albini

Chicago White Males

Can you feel the dooshiness from orbit? Black people in the Chicago area are cool -- but I'm baffled by the large amount of doosh bags in the white population. What is this phenomenon all about? We look forward to researching it and bringing you some results in the coming weeks.

Daddy Doosh w/Baby Air Guitar

Parenting at it's dooshiest.

Dan Bejar

Always the weakest link in the New Pornographers, Dan continues to get dooshier and dooshier with time. I think he is dragging the rest of the band down to his depths, as their 2 latest albums have been exercises in dooshdom. The band he fronts, Destroyer, are beyond dooshy. Dan Bejar = DOOSH.

MTV - also a doosh, or a collection of dooshes

What does one call a plural doosh?

Anyway, I agree with Kanye West that MTV is a doosh. Brittney is a train wreck and letting her perform provided a nationwide unwanted visual image and was just plain mean. I'm as happy to laugh at someone as the next person, but hell, I can laugh at her when she is at her best.

Gary Glitter

Not only is Gary Glitter a creepy convicted pedophile -- but he is also a doosh. Being at a corporate or sports event and having to endure his dooshy football chants is just wrong. Do the royalties from his douche bag songs go to victims of sex crimes? I hope so. What a doosh.

Who is the doosh?

Welcome to the dooshquest blog! I'm Sal. We're looking forward to sharing our thoughts and collaborating with you on our noble quest to find out who is a doosh.