Black Friday Dooshes

Come on people, really? This is sad -- I was honestly shocked to see this on the news yesterday. We're at the point where there is at least one Wal-Mart Black Friday incedent a year. It is just plain ridiculous someone has to die to save four bucks on a doll of a Disney kid star who's sleeping with her pedifile producer. I don't want to make light of this story as it's completely troublesome, and my heart goes out to the family of the deceased. Control yourselves! What a bunch of dooshes! Get more on the story Worker dies at Long Island Wal-Mart after being trampled in Black Friday stampede.

Dooshquest SI Style

The Staten Island Mall has a bit of a dooshquest of its own. Go get 'em SI.

Spider Doosh

Okay, so I saw the email about the guy trying to pay the utility company with his spider drawing, which is just plain genius, so clearly I would not put him on dooshquest. BUT, the guy who bought the spider on ebay for 15K is most definitely a doosh. (I hope I don't get sued for posting the infamous spider to this blog.)

Congrats to you Mr. Thorne. You've earned your 15 minutes along with 15K. I'd take that any day. Read more >> Spider minus a leg sells for thousands

Hills Doosh (sorry for the redundancy)

I don't even know this dude's name, but I am sick of seeing him and his hair alone is enough to land supreme doosh status.

TTU Doosh on Dating

Thanks Mike Leach. You are a bigger doosh than I thought. I hope you liked your Sooner spanking.

Online Dating Doosh

Sorry.
Your application to join our match-making service has been rejected.

You failed question #14: 'What do you like most in a woman?'

'My Dick' was not an acceptable answer.

Doosh according to Urban Dictionary

So, why do we spell "doosh" incorrectly on this blog? You can blame the founder and CEO for the obvious and premeditated misspelling, but it made me wonder if there was any chance that people were accepting this alternate spelling -- maybe due to our growing readership. HA! Anyway, I did a little digging and found "doosh" on UrbanDictionary.com. Many thanks to Mr. Takenocrap, maka697, and Mysterio for their fine contributions to the literary world and society as a whole. Here are the top three definitions of the word "doosh."

1. The blatant & incorrect spelling of the word douche.
After trying to sneak his way back to the message board under an assumed identity, everyone called the poser a doosh.
by Mr. Takenocrap Sep 13, 2004

2. A word looked on up urban dictionary by those who can't spell douche properly.
Go back and type in doosh.
by maka697 Nov 23, 2003

3. The wrong way to spell douche.
I am an idiot so I spell douche like this: d-o-o-s-h!
by Mysterio Apr 26, 2003

DoGooder Doosh

DOOSH! I am so sick of this guy. Can he do anything WRONG? I never thought I'd be hating on the "Sexiest Man Alive" of 1995, but I had to do it. Mr. Pitt, just go raise your family, and quit torturing everyone with your perfection.

Full Caffeine Eclipse

Commission Doosh

Actual doosh email:
hey u forgot about me Laughkat :( when would be a good time for you to come down
Commission Doosh
Membership Advisor

Theoretical response:
I know it's my fault for coming into the gym in the first place. BUT -- if I don't contact you over the weekend when my parents are in town, I didn't forget about you, you're just not on the top of my list. The incessant email stalking has to STOP. I promise, you'll get your commission in the end. To show you there are no hard feelings, I'll give you free advertising on dooshquest* and book an appointment for tonight at 7.

*Too bad we only have four readers including contributors. Take that suckers!

Ukulele Doosh

You might be a doosh if you can relate to any two of the following:

(1) You wear a Hawaiian shirt daily -- at work, at home, even out on the town.
(2) You play the ukulele.
(3) You only smoke from a pipe.
(4) You ask uninterested women to be your "arm candy."
(5) You live in Astoria for the sole purpose of picking up chicks in Manhattan by asking them if they want to share a cab home.
(6) You are a lurker with a heavy breathing problem.

Calendar Doosh

If you are the busiest doosh in the world and you have to schedule a date a month in advance, please try to keep it or at least have the audacity to call and cancel. Really, we don't care about your level of commitment. We understand your priorities. And lastly, we probably have something better to do with our time anyways. Don't worry. Perhaps, we can get together some time over the next couple of years.

Pantsless Celebrity Doosh

STEVE GUTTENBERG - EXCUSE ME!?! Where are your bleeping pants? And, I thought Dancing with the Stars was bad.

Virtual Doosh Technology

I don't care if this was hard to do or if it's some kind of groundbreaking technology. CNN is now in the annals of TV news dooshiness for their Election Night 2008 holograms

Times Square Doosh

Not only is he the Naked Cowboy, he voted for McCain.

Line Doosh

I went to this party at a swanky hotel in midtown Manhattan for Halloween. Open bar was from like 9:00 to 10:30, but yet they kept us outside for the first 30 minutes. Kinda dooshy, but I think Bravo was filming the party, and they wanted to make it look like the hottest joint in town -- hardly. Fortunately enough for me, I met this doosh in line. Me and the girls were having a smoke, while awaiting details of whether or not we could get our asses upstairs. The guy rudely expresses his distaste for women who smoke -- out loud for all to hear. I decide to ignore and try to enjoy my cigarette. Minutes go by and the same doosh almost hocks a loogie on my roommates foot. I of course reply, "Ew, I hate guys that spit!" He didn't catch the reference and thought that I was hitting on him. I think he was partaking in all sort of LINES that evening. What a doosh!