Guinness Book of Dooshes

This “Long Leg Hair” doosh is saving his 15 minutes of fame for the Guinness Book of World Records. He is conditioning, combing and protecting his mutant leg hair – which is now almost 5 inches long. I certainly hope he’s not trying to compensate for his length in other areas with this one. I’m not really impressed. Most people who find freakishly long items on their bodies that aren’t supposed to be there would take care of them – immediately. But no, this guy’s shooting for the record books. It was reported that if/when he wins the world record he will then remove the hair and hang next to his plastic god or whatever.

“…I’m not this monkey man with long hairs all over my body…it was just one strand,” said “Long Leg Hair” doosh a.k.a. Wes Pemberton in a recent CNN interview. Oh, okay Wes, since it’s just the one...I mean, come on!

Drug In-dooshed

After a good ten minutes of staring into his beer, this "Paranoid Tweaking doosh" decided to leave the bar and his beer behind.

Lesson here is:

If you're too drugged-up to finish your beer and the only word you can utter is a bug-eyed "WHAT?" while feverishly snapping your head from side-to-side, please, STAY AT HOME or go play with the other druggies.



This is a real thumbs down in my book. After all, there are sober kids in China.

Dooshiest Celebrity Pimp Story

James Lipton, host of "Inside the Actor's Studio" as a young man worked in Paris as a pimp >>

"This was when I was very very young, living in Paris, penniless, unable to get any kind of working permit... I had a friend who worked in what is called the Milieu, which is that world and she suggested to me one night, `Look, you'll be my mec... We would translate it perhaps... as pimp. We were earning our living together, this young woman and I, we made a rather good living, I must say."

And set up live sex shows for American Tourists >>

"I had to accompany my clientelle to the Rue Pigalle, which is where these things occurred. And then I'd take them up to the room and I had to remain there because they were very nervous, they were young Americans for the most part... and they didn't speak French."

DooshQuest gold

Like Columbus landing at Plymouth Rock or Fleming discovering penicillin – fate was at hand last night as I happened upon DooshQuest gold at The Watering Hole’s Karaoke Night.

Dooshes convene on Thursday nights from across the globe to sing, crotch grab, dance and spit. I discovered a few rare and exotic breeds including, “Chicken-wing Eating Bearded doosh,” “Karaoke Def Leopard doosh,” “Shem doosh” and “Stuffed Parrot Wearing doosh.”

After last night’s observations, I will no longer use “doosh” so haphazardly. I found myself at the depth of sophistication but at the height of my quest. My previous definition of doosh, is laughable, at best. I realize there is certain level of dooshiness for which I must be eternally vigilant and from this day forth, my DooshQuest is going to be all the more - dooshy.

The Social Skin Graft

Dada acosts Mark Zuckerberg at US Open

Client/Doosh

---------------------
Steve - I know that you think this is my problem. I don't. I believe it's your problem. Not personally - your company's. I go to hundreds of websites in any given week, and this is the ONLY one which does this. That makes someone who is as analytical as I am believe that you need to be looking for a solution.
---------------------
Then I guess you have proven my point. You are not looking hard enough or taking me seriously!
I need to know who I should talk with who will.
---------------------
If you were taking me seriously, this would be fixed! This would not be happening on other computers here in the building or computers in my home, and the offices of our agents, etc. I cannot and will not believe that a "thorough

Too Obvious?

John Mayer

Writers at Vanity Fair

I guess I need to reduce my asshole footprint!
Or not - people who write for Vanity Fair are dooshbags!
- KW

Doggy-Doosh Love

Le Doosh