Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Monday, June 15, 2009

British Email Doosh

This just in -- my friend was officially broken-up with over EMAIL today. I have heard horror stories like this before but mostly through Cosmo "Letters to the Editor" or something -- not in real life. Once upon a time, I was asked-out on email, which I thought was pretty lame, but I have never been dumped that way. My heart goes out to my friend, and I will be consoling her by drinking by her side and running through all of my favorite male bashing anecdotes to try and cheer her up.

Granted, this was a long distance relationship, but bottom line is, if you can’t dump someone in-person, the least you can do is give her a call. There is NO excuse other than maybe the doosh somehow manage to chop off his own balls. Sounds like my friend ordered-up a DOOSH-bag Supreme with extra cheese and stupidly flew all the way to England to pick it up. I guess this is a lessoned learned. Do not be fooled by their proper, gentlemanly accents. Those chaps from across the pond can be just as dooshy has the packs of mutts who run rampant on our streets.

This behavior is highly unacceptable and breaks the previously determined numbers on my DOOSHcale. I am going to have to rethink those values after this ridiculous incident. What a DOOSH!

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Craigslist Doosh

I have not been inspired in a while (surprisingly) to post to the quest that is doosh due to the fact that I was completely occupied by my apartment quest, which then transitioned into my pursuit for trash treasures and gently used furniture.

I recently responded to a bookshelf ad on Craigslist asking if I could come by and see it for myself. After not emailing back in an appropriate amount of time by Craigslist standards, I got the following dooshy response.

Craigslist Doosh:
"Do you want these items or not?"

I was immediately taken back by the rudeness and wanted to fire back with something equally as nasty, but I took the high road.

Laughkat:
“Sorry got held up tonight. Don't think I can make it by. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

I thought this to be enough, and I had absolutely no intention of seeing this bookshelf as a result; it was not worth it. I mean really? I think he was selling it for all of $50. This guy needed to take a chill pill.

Craigslist Doosh:
“No problem, but please reply only if you are serious. There are a lot of flakes on CL. It's like Match.com for merchandise. I am taking delivery of new furniture this week and would like to make some space here, so let me know if you're interested. As I said, I can help w/delivery if needed.”

Following this last clever remark, I thought, there is now way in hell I am letting this guy know where I live. Thanks for offering your services but knowing this guy has my email address is enough to make me want to sleep with a knife under my pillow.

http://newyork.craigslist.org/search/sss/mnh?query=knife