Dead douche (should have gone to the cops)

Sorry, Football cultists...

So many dooshy people, so little time

I think it is time to reinstate this blog. Every day the news delivers a new doosh to post about and there are quite a few circling closer to home as well. I thought Bernie Madoff took the cake for BIGGEST. DOOSH. EVER. but sadly I was wrong. That honor now belongs to Jerry Sandusky.

Biggest. Doosh. Ever.

Speaking of Jer, why do they have him on suicide watch? I say, throw him in a cell and give him all the tools he needs - rope, a knife, pills, some booze, hell give him a loaded shotgun. If we are all lucky he will have the job done by morning. Spare the taxpayers the time and trouble of another trial, the victims the pain of reliving their abuse, and all of us the disgust of having to read about him every day. All together now, for Jer, an appropriate song by Limp Bizkit.

And for the other dooshy people - and you know who you are - we're watching.

It's a doosh-off!

"I'm pretty sure there's a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is." Derek Zoolander






Photos via GQ.com.

$500,000 Doosh

Excerpt from Ferris Beuller's Day Off:

Boy in Police Station (Sheen): Drugs?
Jeannie: Thank you, no. I'm straight.
Boy in Police Station: I meant, are you in here for drugs?
Jeannie: Why are you here?
Boy in Police Station: Drugs.

I am thinking of renaming the blog Charlie Sheen Quest considering the amount of resources we have on this guy. We haven't been able to report on the likes of Spencer Pratt, Bruno Mars, Randy Quaid, Andy Dick, OR Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi in the last year due to the amount of dooshiness externalized by Sheen. As of today, RadarOnline.com reported that before he checked into rehab "Charlie Sheen spent more than $500,000 on escorts and drugs in the six months..." Phew! We don't have to change the name of the blog now, well, at least for another 3-months. "I just didn't believe I was like everybody else. I thought I was unique," said Sheen. Indeed!

Photo via shockya.com.

Plagiary Doosh

Content is shared over the blogosphere time and time again, which is encouraged by buttons to "Share This," "Digg," and "Tweet" nearly every post and article on the web these days. Sharing and repurposing content is perfectly legit if sourced correctly, and no one should know that better than an editor of a authoritative, popular magazine. Gawker reported today that Dave Zinczenko of Men's Health plagiarized his own writers for his Yahoo! blog. Before I even read the article, I said, "all you have to do is Google the damn language and find the duplicates." In fact, that is exactly what the Gawker guys did.

Dave, are there no more new ideas out there? Or, are you just plain lazy? I certainly hope it's the latter. Check out more about this story on Gawker.com.

Teenage Hearthrob Dooshes

I was home sick yesterday watching the VMA's on MTV.com, since I missed them in June. (I admit – I was desperate.) All of a sudden, Zac Efron pops onto the stage to present "Best Use of Hair Gel in an Action Film" (or something like that), and it occurred to me that Leto is Efron, Efron is Leto. Eek!

I will point out, although needlessly, both acted in shows about high school that were very different in circumstance. When I was an adolescent, I was getting a female boner for Jordan Catalano, the depressed, flannel wearing, loner, and 10 years later girls everywhere were singing and dancing for the happy-go-lucky, football player, Troy Bolton. They look exactly the same, but their characters were completely different. This makes me question, did I like Jordan Catalano because he was really hot, despite that fact that he was kind of a jerk face? And, would I have liked Troy Bolton because he was really hot, despite the fact that he was flamboyant and overzealous about show tunes?

Each gave middle-school ages girls a reason to get up in the morning and each have progressively gotten dooshier as they get older. Mr. Leto is the lead singer of a ridiculous band and wear’s more eyeliner than I do, while Mr. Efron is walking deeper and deeper into the closet with a roster of films that’s just waiting to be fulfilled my the next Nicholas Sparks movie. These guys couldn't be more different on paper, but all the while, they seem more and more the same. Is Justin Beiber next in line?


I think we might have a winner, folks!

Photos: list.co.uk, backseatcuddler.co, macuha.com,

Elmo Attacker Doosh

The lovable, baby monster, Elmo, is getting a lot of press recently -- from being pulled from Sesame Street due to Katy Perry's revealing costume to getting attacked in a strip mall just yesterday. This agitated customer and alleged Elmo attacker needs to pick on someone his own age! As Elmo would say, "Elmo is three and a half." Here's what transpired on Sesame Street just before the attack.

Big Bird: Chief, What's The Red Furry thing at the top of the Ladder?
Chief Kirby: What red furry thing?
Gordon: [They find Elmo at the top of the ladder] Hey! Hey Elmo, How Did you get up there?
Elmo: Look Mr. Chief! Look Everybody! Elmo is a Firefighter!
Gordon: Elmo Get down from there now!
Elmo: Oh Jeeze.