Ebenezer Doosh

In the spirit of the holiday season, I thought I would share a friendly link of my fellow DooshQuest blogger. [I didn't realize he has such smooth moves] He probably regrets asking me to be a contributor and f*cking up his cleverly written blog. So this is my thanks. Take a look.

Ugly Naked Doosh

There's nothing like hanging out with a doosh who's hanging out...take a look.

Scab Doosh

Carson Daly, picket line crossing DOOOSH

Funny Because It's True

Dooshiest Restaurant Cover-up

I have lived by this for a long time, but this is just a prime example of some DOOSHY restaurant owner trying to save face. NEVER trust a sign that says "Closed for Renovations." See below, as reported by amNew York and the AP.

..."Certain conditions have been pointed out which require correcting and we are working quickly to be in 100 percent compliance with the Health Department's suggestions," said spokesman Joe Calderone.

"We will reopen as soon as possible."

The Health Department said an inspector had spotted a live mouse in the building, as well as mouse droppings, fruit flies, house flies and more than 100 live cockroaches...Officials shuttered the restaurant Wednesday night after it failed its second inspection in a month for the stunning presence of creepy critters.

"Both inspections revealed rodent and fly infestation and conditions conducive to pest infestation, including stagnant water in the basement," the department said..."Roaches mean having a problem for a long time that means that they knew they had a problem and they didn't take care of it right away," said Pallavi Sancy, 38, who was visiting from California. "I'm really glad I didn't eat here."

The Associated Press contributed to this story.

Beware of the Dooshini.

This weekend I was guilty of what I call the “Houdini,” which today I learned was a nickname for something pertaining to human waste. [I guess that is a topic for another day and, in my opinion, another blog.] Even so, I’m going to stick with my name - “Houdini” a.k.a “an Irish goodbye.” Basically, it’s when a fellow party attendee vanishes with no “I’m out” no “see ‘ya later.” They leave you with a bunch of nothing and are on to the next thing whether it be a new bar/party or the toilet. [Few Houdinis are actually sober enough to remember.]

Everyone has a story related to the Houdini, but this type of behavior is innocent, really, and not to be taken personally. But what is it called with someone you’re dating pulls the same thing? I’ve got it – DOOSHINI. I don’t think this term is good enough to make it to Webster or even Wikipedia, but I do think I am on to something here. Any dude that is guilty of this disappearing act is definitely a DOOSH and probably has many more doosh qualities under his hat. Spread the word of the Dooshini and beware of his cunning nature - try not to be fooled by his bag o’tricks or that cute little bunny in his pants.

If you hear any of the following from your significant other – the Dooshini is near!

• I’ve been on a bit of bender from rehab, and I’m trying to work things out.
• I need some time to evaluate my life. It’s not you, it’s me.
• You know my ex-girlfriend? We are just on a break.
• Can I get that t-shirt back?
• I have a wife.

For regular readers of this blog, this post is not to be viewed as “male bashing,” [that’s not what I’m about] but as an exemplification, hell, an education in dooshiness.

Ebony and Ivory

The King of "Doosh"

Celebrity DUI-sh

"I'm not drunk," Mickey Rourke reportedly told officers at the scene. “I didn't even drink that much."

How many times have I said that one? Give me a break, Mickey! The Hollywood star was pulled over on a SCOOTER - for God sakes. I mean, how dooshy do you have to be to accomplish something that lame? What was it, canary yellow? It would be one thing if he was caught speeding in a jacked-up Lincoln Navigator with some hoes in the back and “a white powdery substance” in his pocket that wasn’t his. But no, he was caught “swerving” down the street. DUI aside, his mug shot [a true declaration of dooshiness - the leathery skin, greasy hair, and reverse-Hitler with chinstrap facial monstrosity] made me really think, is this a requirement for a celebrity has been? My sources say yes, and the eight ball [no pun intended] reveals “It is decidedly so.” Well, there you have it folks. I say, "Take that smirk off yo' face DOOSH!"